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Family Violence

FAMILY VIOLENCE

Family violence encompasses any form of intimidating, dominating, threatening, or abusive conduct that takes place within familial, domestic, or intimate relationships, including former intimate relationships. It induces fear in the victim, leaving them with a sense of vulnerability.

Those subjected to family violence often find themselves ensnared in a relentless cycle of abusive behaviour perpetuated by their relationship partner. Arguments become frequent and recurring rather than occasional. This comprehensive term includes various types of harmful and detrimental abuse that significantly impacts an individual's well-being.

Types of family violence

Physical Abuse

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  • Direct Physical Violence: This includes actions such as punching, hitting, hair-pulling, choking, pinching, pushing, stabbing, or restraining you in any manner. Frequently, these physical injuries are inflicted on areas of your body that are not immediately visible to others.

  • Weapon Intimidation: This involves using weapons to intimidate you or causing harm to property as a means of control and fear.

  • Control Over Basic Needs: This form of abuse may also manifest in ways that affect your basic needs, such as not allowing you to sleep, eat, or take necessary medication.

Verbal Abuse

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  • Harassment and Threats: This includes persistently harassing or threatening you verbally.

  • Fear-Inducing Statements: Verbal abuse may involve saying things designed to induce fear. For instance, making threats about the custody of your children if you decide to leave the relationship.

  • Name-Calling: Verbal abuse can also manifest as the use of insulting or derogatory names.

  • Parental Undermining: This type of abuse may extend to undermining your role as a parent, especially in front of the children.

Sexual Abuse

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  • Non-Consensual Sexual Activity: This involves coercing or forcing you into sexual activities against your will.

  • Unwanted Sexual Practices: Sexual abuse may encompass compelling you to engage in practices that make you uncomfortable.

  • Inappropriate Clothing: Another form of sexual abuse may involve pressuring you to wear clothing that you find uncomfortable or degrading.

Emotional Abuse

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  • Emotional Withdrawal: This includes distancing themselves from you and withholding emotional support.

  • Controlling Behaviour: Manipulating you through anger or silence to exert control over you.

  • Excessive Jealousy: Expressing extreme jealousy that restricts your freedom and independence.

  • Control Over Communication: Preventing you from using the phone or accessing transportation as a means of control.

  • Restricting Autonomy: Imposing restrictions on your ability to make personal choices and decisions.

  • Animal Cruelty: Harming your pets as a form of emotional manipulation and abuse.

Social Abuse

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  • Public Humiliation: Criticising and demeaning you in front of others to undermine your self-esteem.

  • False Accusations: Spreading lies and false information about you to damage your reputation.

  • Isolation from Support: Actively isolating you from friends and family who offer support and care.

  • Medical Control: Exerting control by not allowing you to visit a doctor independently.

  • Life Control: Exercising dominance over your life, limiting your autonomy, and preventing you from having a life beyond the confines of your home.

Financial Abuse

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  • Financial Dependency: Exerting control over finances to make you entirely reliant on them.

  • Coercive Loans: Forcing you to sign for loans against your will or consent.

  • Invasive Scrutiny: Subjecting you to constant scrutiny by questioning every purchase you make.

  • Misuse of Shared Funds: Utilising joint finances for personal gain, disregarding shared responsibilities.

  • Shared Debt Burden: Accumulating debts for which you share responsibility without your consent.

Spiritual Abuse

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  • Religious Suppression: Restricting your ability to practice your own religion.

  • Forced Religious Adherence: Compelling you to embrace a religion against your will and personal beliefs.

Stalking​

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  • Relentless Communication: Continuously calling, sending text messages, emails, faxes, letters, or unsolicited gifts.

  • Intrusive Presence: Lurking in the vicinity of your home or workplace.

  • Covert Monitoring: Engaging in surveillance or stalking by spying on your activities and following your movements.

Coercive control​

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  • Isolation Tactics: Isolating you from your support network.

  • Constant Surveillance: Monitoring your daily activities.

  • Autonomy Denial: Depriving you of freedom and independence.

  • Gaslighting: Distorting your perception of reality.

  • Verbal Abuse: Engaging in name-calling and severe criticism.

  • Financial Control: Limiting your financial access and dominating your finances.

  • Gender Role Enforcement: Reinforcing traditional gender roles.

  • Parental Alienation: Turning your children against you.

  • Health and Body Control: Managing aspects of your health and body.

  • Jealousy and Accusations: Accusing you of infidelity regarding time spent with family or friends.

  • Sexual Regulation: Regulating your sexual relationship.

  • Threats to Loved Ones: Threatening harm to your children or pets.

Who is affected?

Family violence transcends community, age, gender, and sexual orientation, impacting individuals from all walks of life. Children, in particular, can be profoundly affected by family violence, even when they are not the direct targets of abuse. For instance, exposure to the behaviour or its aftermath—like witnessing a distressed adult, an injured individual, or damaged property—can leave lasting impressions on them.

Family violence inflicts significant psychological, emotional, and physical trauma on both those directly subjected to abuse and those who bear witness to it. Seeking support is paramount when dealing with family violence.

Remember, if you find yourself affected by family violence, you are not alone. Your safety matters. In urgent situations, don't hesitate to call 000 (triple zero) for immediate assistance.

Where to get support

Everyone has the right to feel safe and free from abuse and violence in their relationships. If you, or someone you know, is affected by family violence, the following organisations can help. 


• 1800RESPECT, 24/7 Phone 1800 737 732 
• Safe Steps (Victoria), 24/7 Phone 1800 015 188 
• MensLine Australia, 24/7 Phone 1300 78 99 78 
• Sexual Assault Crisis Line (Victoria) Phone 1800 806 292 
• Rainbow Door (Victoria) Phone 1800 729 367 
• The Orange Door (Victoria) 

How can Start With ME help?

We are experienced and trained in providing appropriate therapy tailored to your individual needs. If you require support and would like professional assistance, please contact us. Our services also provide support with Victims of crime applications.

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